The Vacation
by BriannieBee64
Summary: What could possibly go wrong on a vacation? Not much, if you were normal but if you are three vigilantes, who are the billionaire Bruce Wayne's sons and your names are Jason, Tim and Dick. A lot could go wrong, especially if you put Timmy in charge, throw in a idiot with plans of world domination, cougars, a relaxing bat... Wait what! A lot can go wrong for these relaxing Bats...
1. Chapter 1

**This is what I'm hoping is a funny story**

**Disclaimer/I can only wished I owned Batman, which if you were wondering I don't **

**Tim's Pov**

Tim did not understand why Bruce insisted he needed a vacation. He was perfectly fine, and mellow like jelly. He was relaxed, and besides he could find a thousand and two different ways he could spend his time productively….in the bat cave; enjoying his summer, for example tweaking the firewall on the bat computer, feeding the bats, sweeping, polishing batarangs etc.

Now since you are more understanding of his mindset. You could see where he was coming from and why he was bitter being squished by two big bodies, while riding economy(how does that even happen! They're billionaires!) on a very stuffy, claustrophobic airplane. And that wasn't even the worst of it, he was babysitting Jason and Dick.

Thinking of Dick and Jason, where exactly where they? Dread suddenly flooding into his brain. Those two alone? Not good. "Oof!" he gasped in surprise, as the old woman beside him slammed a heavy arm into his gut. "You grabbed my chest!" she shouted scandalized. Tim's eyes widen into saucers, involuntarily his eyes drifted to her chest "oww!" he shouted as she smacked him across the head.

Already the two had began to start a scene, and draw attention. Him, against the woman looking to be pushing past seventy. A woman turned to him in disgust, a man glared at him as if to say try that again and you won't have any hands, and Tim didn't even do anything.

"I did not!" He told the older woman indignantly, cringing when the woman raised her hand again. She glared at him, "I have no hope for your generation, all of you there seems not to be any more gentleman in this world. Filthy little boy." She said it with disdain, and looked away.

"Look grandma!" a pretty blonde who he had noticed earlier said in excitement, shoving a magazine in her grandmothers face. The old lady Tim came to silently in his mind calling her hag adjusted her glasses, raising thick eyebrows darkened with pencil liner. She eyed the front page, it was Dick with a playful grin on his lips and his black hair floppy and hanging over his unnaturally blue eyes, the color looked digitally enhanced.

They were not.

"Hmm handsome that boy is," she murmured, tapping his face on the mgazine the paper bent, "grandma!" The girl said annoyed, smoothing out the crease in the paper muttering to herself. "He likes peanut butter!" looking up again, she met Tim's eyes. Her jaw dropped and she began to turn red, waving the magazine and then she began to turn pages hurriedly in excitement until she found one of him. "OMG you're Tim Drake!"

He shook his head in fear. Jason told him about fan girls and their tactics, how extreme they were. His mind began to work in Robin mode. Fangirl, Jason's advice was observe all exits, use physical force if ne-. The hag turned to him with interest

"You're one of those billionaire boys?" He shook his head, people had began to stare, and some began to pull out their cameras. Head began to turn and he became increasingly uncomfortable, he didn't like being noticed he wasn't Dick. "No ma'am." he said politely last thing he needed on the tabloids, **Tim Drake Molests older woman and then talks to her rudely**. He looked away and began calculating the distance between his seat and the bathroom, when a voice he recognized all to well came over the intercom.

"Testing, texting one two three four." Tim rolled his eyes, "hey everybody this is Dick Grayson chilling with the pilot, I hope everybody is having a smooth flight. I'm signing autographs in the front, and Tim why are you in never mind"

"Sir, sorry but you're going to have to-"

"I'm Bruce Wayne's son."

"I do not care."

"My dad owns this plane!"

"No the -"

"argh"

"Ah" "

noooo!"

Silence. The old woman turned back to Tim, something different in her eyes it almost looked desperate. She grabbed his hand and he moved it expecting a hand shake, but she stilled it with a firm grip and yanked him forward. He fell into her chest, and he heard the sound of a camera.

Annoyed apparently that he wasn't doing anything, she grabbed used the hand she was still holding and place it on her chest. His heart lurched, he nearly had a heart attack when she leaned forward and whispered, "I like filthy little boys." At that moment he felt like dying of embarrassment, wishing he could fall into a dimensional pocket, or melt into a puddle, or something.

** Jason's Pov**

The flight for him was surprisingly peaceful, but Jason could never get too comfortable because well then the universe would decide he was too happy. The universe did things, to make him unhappy, but damn it he was happy. No Dick hugging him, no replacement giving him a look him for biting his nails. Yeah, life was good.

So good in fact he could actually put his head back and relax, and think about how he could sabotage the replacement's vacation even more. Smiling at how he was the reason for Tim's bad seat. Slouching he put his hands be hide his head, and closed his eyes. Drifting off to sleep, or at least that was his plan.

"Excuse me Mister." He felt a little hand tapping his bicep, he peeked through his lashes to see a little girl. She was cute, with pink chubby cheeks and wild curly hair that looked like it had to be wrestled into the braid she wore, she smiled.

"Go away!" he mumbled closing his eyes again. She tapped his arm again more persistently before climbing onto his lap. "Do you want to play with me?" he tensed feeling uncomfortable with an unknown kid in his lap, to be honest it kinda made him feel like a creep. "I'm sleepy" he said dismissively trying to push her off, but her chubby arms clung to him with a death grip.

She frowned when she realized he didn't want her around her lip began to quiver. "But I'm bored!" She whined, bouncing and throwing a mini tantrum on his lap. He grunted in annoyance as she elbowed his gut. "Wanna play dolls? Draw aliens?" She said suddenly, placing both hands on his cheeks and squishing them together. "You have pretty eyes Mister! They are blue like little oceans…with green! Like little islands!" She began messing with his hair, musing it and messing up his just rolled out of bed look. She began fixing it into two ponytails.

"Where is your mommy?" He tired a different approach through gritted teeth, looking away he noticed the seat that would have been Tim's occupied with a pink backpack. Ah shit, he thought "with the poor people." He flinched, he did this to himself? Rubbing his face he looked at the little girl "go away" She turned to him innocently and he felt his resolve crumbling. She was a cute kid, she held up a Barbie.

He sighed giving in "no dolls," she nodded pulling out her drawing pad and a bag of markers. She snuggled into his chest, and began to draw. He leaned his head back mouthing why.

"Draw with me!"

''no kid, just no."

**2o minuets later**

"That's ugly!" Jason looked up incredulously at the little girl wrinkling her nose at his attempt at drawing Martian Manhunter. "I'm doing the best I can!" he said peeved. She rolled her eyes, showing him hers. It looked like the little green thing from sponge bob, plankton? "How old are you?"

"Four," he looked to her tiny face as she concentrated on darkening the little martins eyeball and then it's antennas.

"Martian Manhunter doesn't have antennas."

"Yes he does," she said sticking out her tongue as she made his eye even more round.

The girl began to wiggle "what now?" she pulled out his wallet. She began to shuffling through it." You have a lot of money!" she pulled out his ID.

"You are twenty-two?" she turned to him

"can I keep this?"

"no"

"but I want it, please?"

He shook his head taking his wallet, and pulling out a five dollar bill. "What about this?" she grabbed the money happily

"what's you're name?"

"Jason" he said curtly. She snuggled into him, "I'm Olivia." He rolled his eyes, the kid was cute but he didn't want her on his lap." Why don't you get off my lap." She acted like she didn't hear him. She wouldn't budge, when Jason tried to move her again. "Jason?" He looked back at her "what?" "What is seh-ex-seh what is sex?" She said loudly, pointing at his ID.

"Pervert!" A woman shrieked, and began smacking Jason. He reeled back looking startled. "Ouch lady!" He recognized her as the woman he pick pocketed, and switched Tim's ticket with. She grabbed the orange juice (Olivia had insisted he get for her, she never drank it) and poured it on his lap. She pulled Olivia away from him and hugged her closely "Get away from my baby girl!" His eyes widened understanding what the woman was implying, and it looked a lot worse than what it was.

"Did he touch you?" The angry mother glared at Jason. He leaned away from the angry woman, wasn't a pedophile! "Mommy that's Jason! He's twenty-two! His brother is tim and he's a replacment, and his other brother Dick is a Goldie bird with pants too tight they ride up his crot-" Mabey Jason shared too much with the little kid.

"That's enough Olivia!" The mother chided hugging her daughter, and shielding her defensively. "You kidnapped my child! Put her on you lap and tried to molest her! Telling her about ugh! About argh!" He looked at the woman incredulously "what!" he sputtered. People turned to glare at him. "Olivia why were you with this horrible man?"

Olivia looked at her mom as if she were crazy. "Jason is nice!" The mom shot him another look. "pedophiles are always nice" she spat. Jason felt fury and indignant at that comment. "Look lady!" he said annoyed but he never got to say what he wanted to because Dick came over the intercom again. "Jason leave the nice lady alone, and be a gentleman and trade seats."

He growled snatching a martini from a woman beside him and downing it in one gulp, slamming it back down. He would have fought Dick on his request but he wanted to get away from the mother and her kid. Flipping the curtain he made his way to the empty seat in front of Tim and slumped in it. Pulling at his collar, middle class was stuffy and hot.

"Naughty boy!" He looked up and grinned. A old woman was fawning over Tim, she was rubbing his shoulders the replacement tried to lean away, as her hand trailed down his arm to his thigh, and began to rub. She gave him a look that she probably presumed was seductive and Jason choked on his laughter.

Tim glared at him before shutting is eyes and turning beet red, he looked as if he were in agony, his lips moving the replacement was praying. "Grandma!' a girl squeaked and Tim's eyes shot open, he was blushing. The lady had put her hands where she shouldn't. the sound of a camera was heard.

Jason leaned forward and whispered into Tim's ear "so you like them older I see…as long as it gets up? Or is it the experience?" Tim looked at him in horror that quickly escalated to fury. Jason grinned leaning back, and Tim looked down towards Jason to his crotch and the large wet spot on his pants.

"OMG! It's Jason Todd!" Tim smirked.

Well shit, Jason thought the universe wouldn't even let him laugh. There was another sound of a camera flash.

** Well I hoped you enjoyed this I couldn't stop smirking when I first wrote this. Please tell me how you feel about this should I continue it? How many of you have ever met a kid like Olivia? Were they out of character? Did this suck? Please review…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well Here is another chapter ****J**** I hope you enjoy it! I found the first chapter didn't have a lot of dialogue and well this one I think has way too much heh **

**Do I have to write another Disclaimer? No I do not own batman or supernatural so ha**

"Are you ever pleasant?"

"Well I don't know Replacement. It depends on you idea of pleasant, I mean you get along just fine with Bruce." Tim shot Jason a nasty look, "Speaking of the oh so pleasant man of all our lives-"

"That sounds wrong!"

"Shut up!"

" where is our car?"

Jason turned to Dick, he sat fidgeting on one of the hard seats at the airport. Jason was sure they were meant to make your ass hurt, then the planes were to give you back problems. He had the system all figured out, because lawyers were evil.

"That's what I was going to say."

"No you were going to say Bruce was your man."

"Shut up my naughty boy!"

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't mention the plane!"

"No you said. I'm telling all my criminal friends…and Roy"

"Hey!' Dick said loudly, placing his hands on both of his younger brothers chest ."Make peace! Were brothers right now." He said giving them both a dark look. They looked up at the scene that they had already caused. "This isn't battlefield!" Jason sat back and chose to glare at dick, the perfection made his skin crawl. "I rather be murdering the Joker, with a crowbar." Tim shut his phone "Wouldn't we all?" Jason shook his head "No you father call back that hot ma-Grandma." He winked. Tim very pointedly chose to ignore him. "I called out car…" Dick turned to show he was giving his full attention. "And!" Jason said annoyed. "Its in Los Angeles."

"What!" Jason stood up.

"If its there….Where are we?"

Tim pointed at a sign 'Welcome to Metropolis!'

"Ah Shit!" Dick said massaging his temples "who bought the tickets?" "I brought my Bermuda shorts!" Jason whined. They both turned to Jason "I meant cargo." Dick shrugged

"So what now?"

"Enjoy Metropolis?"

"Tim were in Metropolis ever other week!"

He gave Jason another look. He was very good a looks Jason thought. Like those teenage girls back at high school, but they were not _those _looks, but looks none the less.

"But we never get to enjoy Metropolis!"

"I don't think metropolis even has a beach!"

Tim looked away, and buried his nose in a map "I want a camera!" Dick said suddenly, his eyes following a man taking pictures of everything even a trash can. "Didn't you bring yours?" Tim said distracted tracing a route an a metropolis map…Where did he get that? \

"No Dami said he needed it for a school project."

"Probably to film his cats!" Jason coughed, into his leather jacket. Tim turned to the oldest incredulously, "It's the summer!" Dick looked away far in thought 'Oh yea.." Jason laughed "the little fucker got you!" Dick shot him one of Timmy's looks., and walked away. "Dick where are you going! Did I hurt your feelings?" Jason followed after him in long strides, longer then the average person would use to take a step. His biker boots ate up the ground. Tim shook his head and went back to the map,

"If we are here it will take blah blah hours to get here and about-" He looked up rubbing his neck, "Noo!" Dick shouted

"It has no film.." Jason guided him to a chair and shoved him to sit by the shoulders. "What did you think? That he would not want those billion pictures of that trashcan? And I told you to buy a _new_ one!"

"I don't understand what went wrong…" Tim trailed off, Jason turned to look at the replacement.

"What?"

"How did we end up in an entirely different state?"Tim began to rub his temples "I need aspirin." Jason patted his coat "Sorry. I would have given you something stronger but Bruce confiscated my drugs.." He reached into his jacked and cursed , "and my smokes! That son of a Bitch!" He pulled out plackets of salt and offered it to Tim, shrugging sheepishly. "_Cocaine_?" Jason frowned, "No it's salt!"

"Why would I want salt?"

"I don't know be creative…Chew it ore something!"

"That would make my headache worse"

"I tried to help" Jason threw his arms up and threw him self on a chair standing up quickly, turning to dick who had decided to lay down across the seat. "Sit up!"

"No" he mumbled. Jason shrugged. "Okay, but I'm just saying Goldie, I am not a feather." He said that before he sat on his brother, they heard a camera, but when they looked around they saw no one.

"Ahhh, publicity….I hate it. Don't you?"

"I want a camera," Dick mumbled.

"And what did you learn?"

"I want a camera?"

"Don't lend things to the Demon because he's evil?" Jason clapped and pointed at Tim, "_He_ gets it! So c'mon! His dad is _Bruce Wayne_! He could just buy a camera…Actually even when I _killed _people ever other day, Bruce still paid my light bill."

"So what now Tommy!"

"Tim!"

"I changed it for your protection." Tim rolled his eyes, "Were not in Kansas anymore."

"We ere never in Kansas." Dick pointed out from underneath Jason. "Wow you're comfty!" Jason said sitting down harder on dick.

"Ow your butt!"

"Is luscious?" "Besides why would we want to be in Kansas anyway? Hey!" Jason stumbled as Dick shoved him of, of him self .Tim glared pointing with his eyes at everybody staring at them. "Were not in Los Angeles makes more sense." Dick said sitting up, Jason hopped on the seat beside his brother. Tim sighed "Why did you say Kansas?"

"Because of that movie with the Scarecrow.."

"Scarecrow came out in a movie?"

"Shut up Dick."

He thankfully did "We are here" Tim pointed at metropolis. "No shit sherelock1" Tim Ignored him,,

"an-" "Where is our luggage?" Dick said suddenly.

"Ah shit, Its in Los Angeles!"

"Ha1Timmy cussed!"

"Shut up Todd!"

"Damian rubbing off on you?" Tim Shuddered. "Its in our Hotel…"

"Oh well that's good." "In los Angeles, Dick."

"Oh well that's bad, I Want pudding! Who wants pudding?"

"Ice cream!"

"Coffee."

"really Tim?"

"I'm going to need it if I'm going to fix all of this!" He made a circling gesture with his hand. "I want it black!" "Okay Cream with two sugars!" Dick walked away flashing him a thumbs up.

**Later on…..**

Dick placed ice cream in front of both of them, "I wanted coffee.." Dick looked away guilty. "What?" He took a deep breath and sat down, "I don't know how it happened." Jason smirked "What happened?" He leaned forward, like a girl anticipating juicy details. "I broke the coffee machine, and I ran." Jason burst into a fit of giggles.. And both Dick and Tim stared at him in horror, and both decided to inch away. Jason giggling?

"I'm tired," he said after he calmed down.. "And I am not sleeping here," he popped is back as in to make it clear.

"How long have we been in the airport?"

"About seven hours…"

"How long was that ice cream line?"

"Hardly anybody was in line.." Dick sighed. "I agree with Jason. I'm tired I just want to go to sleep.." Tim nodded, "I jut trying to figure out what we did wrong here."

"Metropolis is not fun.." Dick said, "You love superman!" Jason leaned towards Tim "and you love superboy." Tim glared "Shut it!" "Naughty boy!" Jason waggled his eyebrows. "Pedo" Jason frowned., and then smirked. "at least I didn't get a bo-" Tim stood up balling his fist annoyed. "Come on right here!" He shouted. "I don't care I'm sorry Bruce I cannot take it." Jason raised his eyebrows and stood up, enjoying all of it. "Hey!" Dick said hushed. "It was only a natural reaction!" Jason snickered, as Tim walked away stiffly. "Where are you going?" Dick called after the youngest back. "Probably to go handle that natural reaction.

**12 minuets later…**

The boys had all found them self a lot calmer, Tim chugging a black coffee, and sighing he was trembling. Maybe he had been going through withdraws, Jason knew how that felt, he was desperate for a smoke. So desperate he was chewing packets of salt, for what reason he didn't know.

"Okay we need to figure out why we are here.." Tim said more calm, taking another swing from the tall foam cup, It looked good…Jason wanted one now. "I'm trying to figure out why we didn't just use the private jet." Tim raised a hand guiltily, "I was thinking we should preserve fuel for the economy, and environment." Jason raised an eyebrow, "yet you ride shotgun in the Batmobile." Tim waved that off, as if to say come on! It's the Batmobile! "So why are we here?" Dick said. "My ticket said this was our stop."

Jason bit his lip. Dick nodded "They messed up your ticket. Do you think there is a possibility somebody wanted us here? Three seemingly helpless billionaire sons?" Tim nodded writing on a napkin. "Possible sabotage…Kidnapping?" Dick tilted his head. "I never seen one so well planned," Tim nodded "it's the future I guess people are get smarter."

Jason bit his lip harder. 'It was.. Tim looked up "what's the matter with you?" He glared , and Jason tasted blood in his mouth. "The government!" What? Shaking is head tm stood up, "C'mon! Cadmus has it out for the superhero community! Especially Batman he's the brains…" Dick nodded. "Or Lex Luthor!' Tim pointed at dick as if that made total sense, "Were in metropolis!" he said in a hushed tone. "He could be listening." Jason gave a over exaggerated nod and just went with it. "I hate Lex Luthor!"

"Yea! Me too."

"Isn't he your boyfriends other dad?" Tim gave Jason a dirty look. "So we go back to Gotham?" Dick shook his head, something coming across hi face, he stood up he took the floor and Tim sat down. "It was Bruce." Um what? "I know him he couldn't just give us a vacation! This it's all a test." Seriously? "If we go back we would be admitting failure! I should have known! Batman does not believe in vacations." He said angrily, Jason sunk in his seat, guiltily thinking of his light bill.

"We cannot let him break us!" Tim tilted his head. "So what exactly are you saying? That this was all Batman's plan? Since the beginning? Why would he punish me!" Jason turned to Tim "You're a virgin…Think about it, he probably wanted to see if you could be trusted if you captors….used a different type of 'torture' to get answers." Tim reddened and Jason smirked. He was so evil.

Dick stopped his pacing, cracking his knuckles "lets have fun! Lets have a vacation, go on strike lets show him." Tim nodded feeling excited, is this what being bad felt like? It felt good. "Hey! Here is Jason?" The began looking around….and found him at a water fountain. His head under the water. "You look a little pale Jay.."

"Never mind that!" Tim said.

Dick nodded, and pummped his fist in the air "Lets stick it to the bat!" Tim clapped "Amen."

**Meanwhile in Gotham….**

"It was very nice of you Master Bruce, to give the boys a vacation." He nodded, "Alfred they deserve it! With how they have been working, I feel I worked them too hard. I'm hopping this will make up for all the hard training. This is what they need." He grabbed a carrot stick, and bit into it looking out the window.

"They probably think I am horrible person," he said. Alfred sat watching him, slowly bringing his tea to his lips, just as a alarm went off. "Oh dear Master Bruce trouble?" He turned to his oldest friend and shook his head, "I got the birds of prey handling that." Alfred sighed in relief, "Then what is it master Bruce?" He smiled kicking his feet up onto the coffee table, putting them back down when he saw Alfred's glare. "My show.."

"Sixty minuets sir?"

"Ha ha you're so funny Alfred." Bruce said, "But no Supernatural." Alfred smiled. "I find that I am quite find of that show.. I find I am leaning more towards Team Dean."

'Really? I'm a Cas fan."

**Please review! **

**They make me happy and encourage me to write…I'm not the best writer and I understand that. I have too much ideas and no idea I how to put it down which sucks :/ Thank you to the lovelies who favorited and Followed my story! and Super thanks to my only reviewer :D Ya'll are awesome!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well I'm hoping these chapters are improving as I go along…because the first two were pretty bad lol I'm sorry for the typos, how in the world I didn't notice them? I have no clue. Thank you to my two Reviewers :)  
**

**Please enjoy!**

**Wait a minuet! Disclaimer/ I don't own anything.**

Chapter 3

The boys found themselves in a seedy looking restaurant with a bar. Peanuts littered the floor, and it was dimly lit. A handful of shady looking characters lurked in every other corner, while muscular women with tribal tattoos, eyed them with a hungry look in their eyes. Never again, Tim and Dick decided would they let Jason pick the place.

"Ok so where exactly is your wallet Dick?" Tim asked. Jason glowered at the large pile of money in the small table they had crowded around, their elbows and knees knocked into each other. It was uncomfortable but a good spot, well hidden with a clear view of all the exits, along with the restaurants occupants.

"Its in my luggage." Dick said, reaching into his back pocket and pulled out a billfold that looked like it was going to split in half. "Three grand" he said and tossed it into the pile. "In fives!" Tim said, just as Jason said "I knew your ass wasn't that big!"

"Why were you looking?" Dick said immaturely.

Sticking out his tongue, he moved. "No just no don't do that!" Tim hissed, moving him back in place which was in front of him. Jason, and Dick both turned slightly indiscreetly, to see one of the scary muscular woman staring at Tim. She nodded slightly, and her eyes fluttered closed for a moment. When they opened she made a motion as if she were whipping something, and then she licked her lips.

"She's hot" Jason muttered.

His brothers turned to stare at him, and shook their heads to clear their thoughts. "Anyways…Why!" Tim said waving the thick billfold. Jason went back to glaring at the pile of cash, Dick shrugged "Have you ever been shot in the ass?"

"Not as Tim drake"

"shut up." Jason said, not even looking up.

"you!" Tim retorted.

"Bitch!"

"Jason!"

"How was that a insult? That's my name" Jason said in confusion.

"Inside joke." Tim shrugged.

"Between who?" He asked in curiosity.

"Me and Damian."

"Of course they would get along, when its me they're talking about" he muttered, sitting back in his chair and it creaked.

"I need a drink." he sighed standing up. Snatching his wallet he pulled out a twenty, tossing it back on the table carelessly. He had jacked the thing from some thug, apparently once a thief…always a thief.

When his back was turned, and he was completely out of earshot he suddenly felt more relaxed. The two left at the table began to argue. "How did you forget your wallet?" "I still had some cash!" Dick defended himself.

"Actually who carries three grand in only _fives_?"

"Me apparently, Hey! Some of those bills are tens and twenties…. Actually one is also a fifty."

"That's irrelevant Dick, nobody cares. "Dick glared at the younger boy,

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CANT GET A BEER!" Every head in the bar turned to witness the scene Jason had began to cook up. "You don't look twenty one kid…and the law is the law."

"Sure coming from the man who's-"

"Listen here boy, this is my bar! And anywhere you go, you will get carded!" The bartender said dangerously, he looked to be sixty something with a large beard and a dirty cap. His flannel t-shirt was opened to a white wife beater.

Jason scoffed "Excuse me! What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Just get out of my face," the bartender said wearily waving Jason off, "I'll just get you some juice…. or a Kool-aid. Something, you'll like that right?" Jason looked furious, "I want apple juice, and I hate your shirt!"

He stomped back to the table, and sat down with a pout. "Do have that exact shirt in your closet." Dick whispered. "No I don't! It's Roy's he left it at my place when he spent the night.." Tim raised an eyebrow, "What were you two doing?"

"Wait. Dick why were_ you _in my closet?!" Jason demanded.

"I needed a shirt, tell Roy I'm not giving it back….It's comfty"

"So why was _Roy's_ shirt in your closet?" Tim said with glee..

"Bartender said its free if you and your buddies leave." One of the waitresses said, placing a tall glass in front of him, Jason grabbed it and began to chug his juice. "Nah were good." Jason turned to Tim "What do you and Conner do in your room with the door locked, for _hours_?"

"Are you implying something?" Tim asked.

"Yes I am.."

"So if what you're implying, is what I think it is." Tim stopped to think, "Is that what you and Roy are do? Since you implied that its what we're doing?"

_ "What?" _Jason shook his head. "Replacement you lost me at blah, blah, blah, Blah, blah, blahhh!" Tim rolled his eyes 'I didn't expect you to get it since only people of higher intelligence are capable of understanding t-"

"Your gibberish? Shut up already! You're beginning to sound like Damian, next thing you know you're gonna start calling Bruce _father_" Jason said. "I smell," the two turned to stare at a miserable Dick. "Yeah, you kind of do." Tim said leaning away. "Lets just find a place to sleep," Dick said.

Tim nodded, they were all exhausted and they should have gone strait to a hotel, but Jason wanted peanuts and he said he knew a nice little place where they were free. "We got like five thousand bucks.."

"Enough for a cheap motel and a rental car…food an-"

"Souvenirs?" Dick said, Tim nodded they had agreed to do anything to irk Batman, even if it meant going back to the manor decked out in Superman fan gear.

"Were gonna need more money." Jason said. They nodded, Jason looked as if he were contemplating something in his mind, having a inner argument with himself. A angel and devil on his shoulder type of thing… What ever it was that made him so quiet he lost the argument with himself. "I know a way we can get money. Without asking Bruce, you're probably not going to like it replacement." He placed his chin on the table, "I know a guy." Dick nodded as if to say continue, Tim didn't try to take the floor so Jason kept going. "I met this guy this on-" Dick smiled happily. "I'm so glad and honored that you could trust us with your secret! Maybe this vacation isn't that bad if you are coming out! We wont judge you for being g-"

"Is it Roy?!"

Jason glared, "I mean I know a guy who gives out jobs." Tim raised an eyebrow "Jobs?" Jason nodded "Jobs but I'm going to have to crack some skulls, and kill a couple of guys here and there."

"No." Dick said firmly.

"Or we could sell Tim to some of these ladies…They look like they want him.." Jason said, brushing off Dick and looking around. "Why don't you sell your self or Dick to them?" Jason rolled his eyes nodding towards Tim looking the Woman why had eyed Tim earlier in the eyes, she nodded and stood up made her way towards them.

"Because I'm not the one they want"

Tim glared, at his brothers "So what exactly are we going to do? Call Bruce? Superman?" Dick shook his head, "No its his fault lets not give him the satisfaction!" Tim shrugged. "What do ya want Babe?" They looked up, Jason grinned winking "Get me a beer and you can keep him for the night." Tim sat up "wait what!"

"You wanted some where to sleep." Jason said. "I found you one."

"I'll be back soon baby." The lady winked. Jason grinned, "I hope you're happy."

"More so then twenty minuets ago.."

"When you demanded Juice?" Tim hissed.

"Ahhhh," Dick groaned "I'm tired!"

"Don't you stay up all night running around in tights, and function on six hours of sleep a week?" Tim asked. Dick glared. "Stop!" They turned to a annoyed Jason, he stood up. "I'll just play some pool make us a car, somebody's shoe, and a house richer."

They gave him odd looks "You're horrible at cards, you lose to Damian in _go fish _all the time and he sucks." Jason gave then a look. "He's a kid, I let him win, and FYI the little shit cheats" They didn't look convinced, "How do we know you don't actually suck?" Dick said suspiciously. "Gambling is how I make most of my money." Jason said easily. "I thought it was killing drug dealers." Tim said confused. "Well that too." Jason shrugged. "But where are we going to stay?" Tim asked.

"I know this cheap motel…its not the cleanest but-" Tim raised an eyebrow "do you know the bad parts of everywhere?"

"Its my job! If you were wondering, Roy told me about it once."

"We can't tell Clark, because he will tell Bruce." They sighed, "I thought you were ever that." Dick frowned, Jason stood up "Come on." He stood up he was confused, but he followed him anyways. "What?" he said. "Just incase somebody wants to kick my ass and he brings a big ass friend." Dick nodded. " I kick the guy's who originally wanted to kick your ass, asses?" Jason gave him a weird look, _what? _"No I want to you work that poll" he pointed at a abandoned poll, that had began to accumulate dust. "Really?" Dick said interested looking at it thought fully. "Dick have you been drinking?" He gave him a sheepish look, "Yeah."

"How did I not notice?" Jason asked himself.

"Every time I went to go pee." Jason nodded "I just thought you were constipated." Dick shrugged. "What about me?" They turned to Tim, _oh yea_. "Here babe." Jason winked getting his beer. "I think you're covered."

**Gotham City**

Bruce felt himself erupt in shivers, "Master Bruce?" He turned to Alfred, "Maybe I should call my boys….I feel like something is going to happen." He said worriedly, Alfred nodded understanding completely what he had meant. "Its because you're used to having them here with you, give it time."

Bruce looked down, "My Timmy Senses are going off…He's in trouble!" Alfred sighed. "I highly doubt it sir, he is not out alone in the cold streets of Gotham. He is out with his brothers, relaxing why don't you?" Bruce Wayne nodded, Alfred could always comfort him "No shhh, sir supernatural is back on." He relaxed, shaking his head. "You're right."

"I am always right Master Bruce."

"Timmy can wait."

"Yes he can Sir." Alfred nodded.

The Batphone went off, they looked at each other and Alfred pressed pause, when The Batman answered it. "The penguin ha ro-"Bruce rolled his eyes. "I'm Busy" he hung it up, pulling out his black berry. It rang twice "Bruce? Are you alright?! Are you ok?!" "Trouble in Gotham get to the manor _now_!"

"But your no meta rule?"

"This is way beyond me! I need Superman. This is more important then the rule."

Alfred and Bruce stared at each other. "Its awfully quiet." Bruce blinked, "Master Bruce…Where is _Master Damian?"_

"Oh Shit."

**Los Angeles **

Why they didn't use the private jet…Damian had no clue.

**Well I hoped you enjoyed this, you know Reviews are awesome :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Its sad to say but the boys don't come out in this one…Well here is another chapter. It took forever but hey its here ****J**

**Disclaimer?**

"Do you know who I am?"

"No," was the unimpressed reply, of an exhausted hotel manager. She had already spent hours with the little boy who had refused to give out information, no matter how much candy and stickers she offered to him. He was only ten but she couldn't help but glare at him as she tried to stay composed.

Fighting with little kids is not what was expected from a five star hotel manager. The little boy had gathered a crowd, and the security guards had been motioned to hide behind some heavy drapes, the little boy had positioned him self at a high post in a corner that had to be more then fourteen feet, how he got up there? Well she couldn't tell…she blinked. Hopefully he would get down and then security would be able to escort him out.

"Are you listening to me!" The child bellowed, "I am Damian Wayne!" The hotel staff did a double take. Wait a second what? Was going through everybody's head. Dana the hotel manager swallowed "excuse me, what did you say?" She tried to ignore her staff who had all pulled out their phones. Phones were not allowed, "I demand to see my brothers you imbeciles."

"Little boy please get down," a maid said. Mira?

At least that's what Dana thought her name was….She tended to forget her staff's names. "Take me to them!" The little boy Damian shouted, wild. "Or the next time you wake up it will be over seas. In a ship!, sent as cargo to a uncharted island!" That was directed towards Dana…She had the feeling he didn't like her.

"Please get down." The maid tried again, she was fairly young and if Dana remembered correctly, she was very liked by the hotel's guest. "Where are my brothers!" the little guy snarled. "Mira?!" The question was aimed at the petrified maid who shook as the little boy slipped slightly. He had been there a long time. "Tina…Mrs." The maid Corrected. Dana rolled her eyes, whatever. "The Wayne Boys have not arrived." The front desk clerk replied hanging up the phone. Dana gave _this_ Damian a smirk.

"Mister Wayne's Sons have not arrived." She never finished a guest had showed the manager her phone, and the smirk fell instantly. "Very well." She said ignoring the disapproving looks of a old couple who. "Get down your…Lineage has been proven?" The manager shook her head at the weirdness of the whole situation, the small boy did not get down. "It's okay." Dana glared, why was she so nice? Damian gave them all scathing looks. "Latter! Its obvious he cannot get down." Staff ran to a supply closet and pulled out a bright yellow latter. "Its okay kid!" A maintenance man shouted, "we got you."

Damian rolled his eyes and let go, the crowd screamed and a old woman fainted, He landed gracefully on his feet like a cat. "Where is their room woman? Hand over the key." The man at the front desk handed it over stunned. "Send your servants to my quarters. I want cookies and milk, and I want these cookies perfect just how pennyworth makes them, Tt" The little boy strutted away, dusting his shoulders.

**5 Hours**

The maid gave him a desperate look, she was seconds away from a nervous breakdown. "Who is pennyworth!" She asked frustrated pulling at her hair. "What's wrong with theses cookies?"

"They are not homemade…and they're chewy." Damian said dismissively.

She pulled in a shaky break, and prayed for patience….and a tranquilizer gun. The maid had been assigned to be the boys keeper until the rest of his family arrived, a couple of googled images and a teen magazine confirmed who he was. Tina wasn't sure if she could handle another minuet of any of it. Never mind the bonus offered. "Where is the pool?" She pointed down the hallway, and gave the easiest directions she could.

He seemed to have no trouble following them, throwing a towel over his thin shoulders, she followed behind him. His extra change of clothes in her arms. "Damian?"

"Tt."

"Sir."

"Tt ."

"Listen to me,"

"Tt."

Tina flinched when they stumbled across Dana and Damian did nothing short to aggravate her. "Where is Tina," He pointed behind him off handedly pushing the glass doors leading to the pool open. "What are you doing!" Dana hissed. "He is not safe to be put in public with _normal _people."

"Then why are _you _here?" The little boy spat, he marched towards Tina. "I need more lemonade."

"More? Your going to have to pee."

"Tt, I already handled that behind that sign." He pointed at a hotel sign, Dana's face plastered over it.

He shoved his cup in Dana's hand. "More." Turning back to _his _maid he pulled her to the pool with him by her sleeve. "Tell me." he said. She looked down at him in exasperation, her face melting into a gentle smile. He looked so cute, eyes wide and stricken.

"Who is that magnificent creature?"

She turned to see a little girl about thirteen, sitting on a lawn chair as she flipped through a teen magazine, slurping a slushie. 'That's Katie."

**Gotham City**

"Master Bruce, he is nowhere to be found."

"Did you check the furnace?"

" No I did not," Alfred said. "But I highly doubt he would be in there." Bruce sighed "You never know." "Should I be concerned?" Bruce shrugged, "I heard Jason whispering." Alfred nodded "No Master Bruce, your youngest would not be found in there if it was master Jason you heard talking about the furnace….But there is a possibly if it had been Master Tim."

"How do you know?" Bruce said suspiciously.

"Don't forget I am the eyes and ears of this house." He quirked an eyebrow. "And besides Master Jason roasts marshmallows in there." Bruce sat down heavily, "I failed at being father."

" You are making such a big deal, about this Bruce have you called the Boys? The hotel to see if he is there?" He paused, the wise words of old people. He stopped his panicking and dialed the Los Angeles hotel. "Hello?" It was answered pleasantly. "Is Damian Wayne at your hotel?" The once smooth and pleasant voice turned stiff, yes he was there. "Why yes sir, may we please discuss your so-" Dial tone, Bruce had hung up he rather not hear about how much money he owed the hotel…yet. Sighing in relief Alfred relaxed, "he is with the boys?" Bruce nodded.

"What's the _emergency_!" Superman burst in breathing heavily, he was still half in his Clark Kent get up. Bruce shoved a bowl of popcorn in his (even though he wouldn't ever admit it) best friends hands. "Our show, " (Or maybe he would). "Supernatural?"

"Oh yeah!"

"Your Jammies Master Clark?"


End file.
